How To Survive a Failed Field Trip

  1. Before leaving for doomed field trip, be sure to dress up a bit.  It will help you look a smidge more civilized later on as you chase your toddler through the impressionist art exhibit.
  2. Keep your toddler restrained at all times.  Otherwise, he will escape the kids’ area without you knowing, snag his getaway car (in this case, his stroller) and make a mad dash for what he thinks is an exit but is actually a hallway of priceless statues.
  3. When the docent asks, “Is this your kid?”  Pretend not to hear him.
  4. Don’t wear wedges.  Wear sneakers.  Better for running on marble.
  5. After you calm your toddler down and strap him into his getaway car/stroller, LEAVE.
  6. Why didn’t I take my own advice on point 5???
  7.  20 minutes later, when your toddler is screaming through Monet, try to pass your family off as a mixed medium art exhibit.
  8. When that fails, LEAVE!
  9. Take a picture at the entrance so you can chronicle this event and learn from it.Art Museum
  10. Consider registering your toddler in Day Care.
  11. Walk around the grounds and allow your toddler to run wild, though by now he chooses to SIT QUIETLY.IMG_3065
  12. Drive home taking deep breaths.
  13. Arrive home and pour a teeny weeny glass of wine as your children sleep in the van.IMG_3068
  14. Blog about it for emotional support.
  15. Try again another day.  In sneakers.  And with a Mother’s Helper.

3 thoughts on “How To Survive a Failed Field Trip

Add yours

  1. Hugs for emotional support given. I’m seriously crying in laughfter now. I would be your mommies helper. Love field trips.

  2. Oh my….I, too, am crying, partly laughing, partly choking, mostly snorting. Take them to the park with books on art. They’d probably like that better!!

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