- Before leaving for doomed field trip, be sure to dress up a bit. It will help you look a smidge more civilized later on as you chase your toddler through the impressionist art exhibit.
- Keep your toddler restrained at all times. Otherwise, he will escape the kids’ area without you knowing, snag his getaway car (in this case, his stroller) and make a mad dash for what he thinks is an exit but is actually a hallway of priceless statues.
- When the docent asks, “Is this your kid?” Pretend not to hear him.
- Don’t wear wedges. Wear sneakers. Better for running on marble.
- After you calm your toddler down and strap him into his getaway car/stroller, LEAVE.
- Why didn’t I take my own advice on point 5???
- 20 minutes later, when your toddler is screaming through Monet, try to pass your family off as a mixed medium art exhibit.
- When that fails, LEAVE!
- Take a picture at the entrance so you can chronicle this event and learn from it.
- Consider registering your toddler in Day Care.
- Walk around the grounds and allow your toddler to run wild, though by now he chooses to SIT QUIETLY.
- Drive home taking deep breaths.
- Arrive home and pour a teeny weeny glass of wine as your children sleep in the van.
- Blog about it for emotional support.
- Try again another day. In sneakers. And with a Mother’s Helper.
How To Survive a Failed Field Trip
tommimom 
Hugs for emotional support given. I’m seriously crying in laughfter now. I would be your mommies helper. Love field trips.
I’m glad we can laugh about this stuff! Very therapeutic. I suppose crying is, too, but it doesn’t feel as fun. 🙂
Oh my….I, too, am crying, partly laughing, partly choking, mostly snorting. Take them to the park with books on art. They’d probably like that better!!